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Saying "No" to Guilt

The useless emotions: guilt and worry. A phrase burned in my brain for more than 40 years, ever since I read Your Erroneous Zones, by the late, great Dr. Wayne Dyer, way before he was shot into the stratosphere of fame and fortune – and appearances on PBS. The useless emotions: guilt and worry (specifically the Chapter 5 title of his book). The useless emotions: guilt and worry (the bane of anyone caring for or about an elderly loved one). In said chapter 5 of his book, Dyer makes it a point to present these two emotions as two sides of the same coin: guilt (feelings over something that already happened) and worry (feelings over something that could happen in the future). Although I apprecia

It's the Little Things That Matter

My mom lives in a retirement community, aka, a 55+ community. It’s a lovely community, with a mix of single-family homes, condos, and “villas,” along with the usual amenities (game rooms, fitness center, pool, etc.) Shockingly, as I write this, I realize I am old enough to live in this community!! But that’s neither here nor there. Anyway, if you’re old school, aka, kind of old, you’re probably thinking that everybody in this retirement community comes together to bring over casseroles, volunteer to do chores to help lift the caregiving burden, or otherwise offer expressions of support and encouragement, just like back in Iowa or Minnesota or Canada or wherever. Hmm, not really. When my mom’

Advocating

Advocate. One who pleads the cause of another. One who defends or maintains a cause or proposal. One who supports or promotes the interests of a cause or group. Thank you, merriam-webster.com. Part of caregiving an elderly loved one is being their advocate. I don’t do much pleading or maintaining, but I find myself doing a lot of defending, supporting, and promoting the best interests of my mom as we continue along her journey. Being an advocate is probably the most important thing you can do for your elderly loved one. It’s the one thing the senior and health care industries can’t lay claim to. A senior service like Meals on Wheels can provide food. A facility locator can find the right car

Choosing My Word of the Year

Have you chosen your “word of the year”? I don’t know how long this concept has been around, but it’s something I have been hearing about the last couple of years in business and self-help circles: Choose a word that you really want to define your year ahead and direct all of your efforts to it. Sounds a little gimmicky to me, but I’m willing to give it a try. Anything that will improve my business, relationships, caregiving…life!...is worth trying, at least once. So now, onto the word. What to choose? What to choose? With starting a new business and all, the hard-charging action words immediately come to mind: Focus, Determination, Action, Do, Persevere, Relentless. With dealing with ever i

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